Daily Insight: Square Peg, Round Hole

A wise man once said "stop trying to fit a square peg into a round ass hole." That wise man as you can tell by the cadence of the phrase was obviously me. I say that to say the days of dragging out a relationship in hopes that you can shave off a corner here and a corner there to make a square peg more round are officially over. I knew months ago this peg wasn't meant to fit, and yet I kept trying to force it. 

Is it out of loneliness? Boredom? Delusion? Maybe all of the above. Nothing is going to be an effortless fit, but I'll be damned if I'm forcing anything else.

Happy Valentine's Day. 

Daily Insight: Getting Off Next Exit

A funny thing happens when you get into a relationship that you didn’t really see coming. You kind of are put on this highway where the person whose pushing the relationship is in one car in front of you, and you’re following. Then there’s always that moment when you get in front of them, because you’re now invested, and like this feeling.

Then it happens, that other person gets off the next exit without telling you, and you’re left driving along all by yourself. You’re not quite sure what happened when you finally look up in the rearview mirror, but you know it’s not good. They start communicating less. Spending less time. The affection dissipates. And you’re confused as hell.

You start to back track and ask all the questions that you already know the answer to in the back of your head, but need validation about anyway. The hardest part of it all is that you have to realize that when you started driving out in front you didn’t take the time to look up and see if their blinker was on or not.

And so you come to the point where you know what has happened and now you must deal. But the great thing is when you keep driving that exit that person got off at will eventually be a thing of the past. So far away you can no longer see it in your rearview. So keep driving..

-Becks

Daily Insight: 27th Hour

“About to take another shower on my 27th hour.” My 27th birthday is still sinking in. It was incredible, and still is. The turn up was so real, the love was so present, and the blessings were abundant. In the span of my birthday week I picked up my first check as a travel agent, got my dream apartment, and had the time of my life with my favorite people in the world.

26 was amazing to me, and I know 27 will be different but in all good ways. 27 is brining a whole new level of growth and responsibility that I am not only ready for but willing to take on. Everyone that wished me a happy birthday yesterday all mentioned how full of life I am and I never want to lose that. I am truly living my life to the fullest, and here’s to 27 more years of doing so!

-Becks

Daily Thought: Anita's Box

I know we have all heard the myth about Pandora's box. Basically Pandora's box is 4 walls that form a box and hold all of the worlds evils. When opened, the contents of the box can reek havoc on the world. I believe we as women all contain a Pandora's box of our own in our minds. And instead of holding the world's evils this box contains all of the unaddressed, and compartmentalized feelings we harbor.

I will go ahead and call this box Anita's box. Yes, Anita Baker, Anita. We all know Aunties Anita is good for a heart wrenching love song sung in an octave that only she can pull off. One of the most known of these songs is "Caught Up In The Rapture." I like to use this phrase as a metaphor for those times you are scrambling and dealing with feelings that seemingly come from no where. But the rapture does not descend upon us like a swarm of locusts when we least expect it. It slowly builds up on us.

That dude you met that you weren't worried about until he stopped worrying about you. Or that person that never quite goes away. Or that moment that you believed to be a fleeting moment of lust. You stuck all these feelings into Anita's box, never to be thought of again. Until one day, that glass of wine, or 6…or that Toni Braxton song rips the lid off Anita's box, and all those feelings attack you at once. 

There is a way to make sure this never happens. The only way to prevent a sneak attack from the rapture is to deal with feelings head on. Yes, we will all be caught up in some kind of rapture or another at some point, it's human nature. But when you deal with those feelings and skip to the next song on Anita's greatest hits you won't have to worry about hiding Anita's box so far away that no one will ever find it to open it back up again.

 -Becks

Happy Holidays

Twas the night of the Ugly Holiday sweater party
And all through the house, not a creature was twerking (yet) not even a mouse

The egg nog was made and spiked with care
In hopes that everyone attending would soon be there

Buster was nestled all snug in his bed
While visions of someone dropping some food on the floor danced in his head.

Mrs. Avery came downstairs, a full holiday ensemble in tack
While Mr. Avery was watching the TV loud as hell in the back

When the front door bell rang with such a ding
In came the guests with all the bottles and appetizers they promised to bring

Becky turned off the Boyz II Men holiday music
And turned on something a bit more ratchet, in hopes that everyone would lose it

Now Lindsey! now, Ashley! now, Willie and Krystle!
On, Trina! On, Nikkole! On, Jamol and Brittany!

Don’t you dare stand on top of the couch, or get any jean marks on the wall!
Or Mr. Avery will be screaming: Dash away! Dash away all!"

All the nog was drank, and the dancing had died down
It was time for everyone to get the hell up out of town

I heard someone’s tires screech as they drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Daily Insight: Realize

A conversation with friends bought up a point I may of already mentioned in a previous post, but it’s so important I will reiterate. When you take the time to realize how blessed you are and focus on all the good in life, there’s no space for anything negative. I know that it’s not as easy as it sounds, but it is so, so very important.

Whether it’s just laughing at your mistakes in the moment, waking up every morning and just thanking God for the day, or taking the time to think good thoughts when you start to scramble. These small things will help you keep your head above water. I can’t speak for everyone. But I know I am blessed and highly favored. And things are falling into place in my life.

If I can’t focus on those things I need to have my brain rewired.

-Becks

Daily Insight: Days Are Not To Be Wished Away

A wise man once said “the trick is to enjoy life. Don’t wish away your days, waiting for better ones ahead.” Summer 2013 was really one of the best summers I’ve ever had. And that’s a lot coming from a person who has some good times.

Something happens to a person when there are so many exciting things going on. You find yourself in those slower days wanting to fast forward life to the next big event or reminiscing on the past, but in those moments I have to remember that the present is a time to be cherished.

Not every day is going to be perfect or exciting, but every single day is a blessing. Believe the small moments are going to add up to a much bigger picture when you take the time to piece them together. Life is a constantly growing and evolving thing. Each day is a link in the chain, and the chain can never be completed if days are skipped…every link is necessary.

-Becks