Everyone has heard the phrase “don’t judge by it’s cover.” This metaphorical book could be a place, a situation, a person or just a damn book…but it rings true regardless. Of course for the purpose of me talking shit we will use this metaphor to refer to a person.
Let me just go ahead and say biddies are like books, you come across a lot in your lifetime. You scan a few, you read the back cover or even the inside flap, you look up some reviews, but you don’t read all of them. Everyone who reads avidly or in this case is single and ready to mingle, has a preferred genre, but let me go ahead and break down what you could be getting yourself into with these different genres…
You have your mysteries. Of course who didn’t like a good old James Hardy book?? Don’t tell me I was the only geek reading those things when I was younger. But I digress. A mystery biddie is always elusive as hell, pops in and out of your life, and you find it intriguing cause your ass always liked to solve the mystery. Well newsflash you ain’t Scooby Doo and this isn’t fiction. In real life that biddie is most like hiding something like a rap sheet or a few kids. I’m just saying, mysteries are fun on paper, but not in real life.
Then of course you have your romance novels, you know the ones with a half naked man looking like Fabio on the cover. If this is your preferred read, you may usually go for the “say girl can I be yo slave” Larenz Tate in Love Jones type biddies. Again this is all well and good, but unfortunately those are usually a dime a dozen, and if you do find one make sure he can grow some hair on his chest cause he may be softer than a pillow pet.
And finally you have the hood classics, the Coldest Winter Ever’s, the Flyy Girl’s, and of course the Zane’s of the book world. If you usually go for these kinds of biddies most likely he has been hugging the block a bit too long, and most likely can’t even hold an intellectual conversation with you about the books you read. Again, I’m just saying.
I say all of this to say, that when you decide to close a specific chapter of a book make sure it’s closed for good. Don’t leave it on the shelf to go peeking back a couple of months later. Cause we all know what the ending will be.
-Becks
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Daily Insight: Let That Biddie Build
Everything in life has to have some kind of build up, anticipation, crescendo if you will. This is especially true when it comes to matters of romance. Once again I draw inspiration for this rant from one of my good friends.
A wise man once said “one date does not equal sexy pic status.” I don’t know how many times over I could “amen,” “mm-hmm,” and “ain’t that the truth” this statement. I use this example to say that you must let the beat build if you will when dealing with the opposite sex (or same sex, I don’t judge).
Do you expect the epic fight scene in an action movie to come right after the opening line? Do you expect the breakdown of your favorite Beyonce song to come after she hits that first note? Do you expect your promotion at work to come right after your first day cause you didn’t fall asleep in training? Nope I didn’t think so…
So why, fellas would you expect homegirl to give up the panty draws after you pick her up in your Honda Civic and take her to Red Lobster once. Ladies don’t expect him to drop to one knee with a big ass ring cause he sent you one “good morning” text. Dudes don’t expect for me to “surprise” you with some for your eyes only pictures, if ya’ll haven’t even exchanged middle names and hobbies yet.
Things such as this need time to build up, to develop. No one said the wait would be easy but it’s probably damn sure worth it.
-Becks
A wise man once said “one date does not equal sexy pic status.” I don’t know how many times over I could “amen,” “mm-hmm,” and “ain’t that the truth” this statement. I use this example to say that you must let the beat build if you will when dealing with the opposite sex (or same sex, I don’t judge).
Do you expect the epic fight scene in an action movie to come right after the opening line? Do you expect the breakdown of your favorite Beyonce song to come after she hits that first note? Do you expect your promotion at work to come right after your first day cause you didn’t fall asleep in training? Nope I didn’t think so…
So why, fellas would you expect homegirl to give up the panty draws after you pick her up in your Honda Civic and take her to Red Lobster once. Ladies don’t expect him to drop to one knee with a big ass ring cause he sent you one “good morning” text. Dudes don’t expect for me to “surprise” you with some for your eyes only pictures, if ya’ll haven’t even exchanged middle names and hobbies yet.
Things such as this need time to build up, to develop. No one said the wait would be easy but it’s probably damn sure worth it.
-Becks
Friday, July 29, 2011
Daily Insight: The Art Of The Skit
I learned a lot of things during my tenure at the greatest school in the world. A lot of those were life lessons; one I cherish a bit more than all of the others. And that my friend is the art of the “skit.”
The art of the skit is basically bs’ing 101. Meaning using your quick thinking and poker face to get yourself out of a lot of potentially asinine situations. I like to think of myself as having a Doctorate, a black belt, a certification, and a hood pass all in the art of the skit. Believe me it’s taken me a long way in life.
Whether it’s telling a job you’re traveling abroad the summer after you graduate and can’t start until September so you can have your summer off. Or talking your way down to the front of the Rick Ross concert so close you can see the sweat dripping down his beard (eww). Even getting to the airport 30 minutes before your flight leaves and somehow still making it through security and on the plane in time.
The art of the skit has to be taught by example that’s the way the best learn. But be careful you don’t want to become the boy who cried wolf. That one person who constantly gets the side eye from the people you attempt to skit because you’ve used an excuse one too many times. There’s only so many times your Mom can be having surgery and needs someone to drive her from the doctor so you have to leave work 4 hours early. As Jay said “we don’t believe you…you need more people.”
With that being said I’ll continue to use my 12 vacation days to equal out to 14 actual vacations. Happy skitting my friends. J
-Becks
The art of the skit is basically bs’ing 101. Meaning using your quick thinking and poker face to get yourself out of a lot of potentially asinine situations. I like to think of myself as having a Doctorate, a black belt, a certification, and a hood pass all in the art of the skit. Believe me it’s taken me a long way in life.
Whether it’s telling a job you’re traveling abroad the summer after you graduate and can’t start until September so you can have your summer off. Or talking your way down to the front of the Rick Ross concert so close you can see the sweat dripping down his beard (eww). Even getting to the airport 30 minutes before your flight leaves and somehow still making it through security and on the plane in time.
The art of the skit has to be taught by example that’s the way the best learn. But be careful you don’t want to become the boy who cried wolf. That one person who constantly gets the side eye from the people you attempt to skit because you’ve used an excuse one too many times. There’s only so many times your Mom can be having surgery and needs someone to drive her from the doctor so you have to leave work 4 hours early. As Jay said “we don’t believe you…you need more people.”
With that being said I’ll continue to use my 12 vacation days to equal out to 14 actual vacations. Happy skitting my friends. J
-Becks
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Daily Insight: Run On Sentence
Beyonce recently compared love to algebra saying “I don’t know much about algebra but I know 1+1=2.” Although that wasn’t really algebra more like arithmetic Bey, I get where she was going with it. With that being said my friends came up with another elementary metaphor for love that rang too true to me today. Who knew a bunch of 20 something’s could be so insightful?
A wise man once said “love is like a run on sentence, there will be many comas, many ellipses (…), and many exclamation points but only a few periods. Those periods are going to be those people that come into your life and make you stop in your tracks. Now for those of us that weren’t really paying attention in English class grades 5-12, let me break down what I mean by the rest of the punctuation I mentioned in love’s run on sentence.
A coma will be a biddie that will come along and maybe make you pause for a second, you know let them take you on a few dates, share a few funny moments, hell maybe even a peck, but they are just a pause. They are there just long enough for you to catch your breath and to continue on with your sentence. I know we all know these. They are a dime a dozen.
Then there are the ellipses. An ellipse is a fancy word for those dot dot dot (…) biddies. I had to go ahead and use a quote from the very trusty Urban Dictionary to truly define these biddies. The Urban Dictionary defines an ellipse triple dot of awkwardness a way to say that you're not really sure, or lets just not talk about it. How many of us have felt that way about a biddie after we’ve truly gotten to know them. It’s the “ok then…” kinda biddies. The ones that you just hope will get the message after you stop picking up their phone calls…
And of course there are those exclamation point biddies!!! Now I can admit in real life I am a serial over-exclamation point user. I use about a million of them when only one is necessary. These are used to describe those biddies that come into your life out of nowhere and this whirlwind romance you have is just amazing, but just as quickly as they came they are gone. Those biddies are fleeting feelings that feel great in the moment but are probably over used.
And then of course there is the period. The biddie that makes you want to stop everything to be with them. The period is the proverbial end of the run-on sentence of love. Of course we will all have a couple of periods in our sentence, the trick is to recognize when one comes along and make sure when you begin a new sentence you know how to punctuate properly.
-Becks
A wise man once said “love is like a run on sentence, there will be many comas, many ellipses (…), and many exclamation points but only a few periods. Those periods are going to be those people that come into your life and make you stop in your tracks. Now for those of us that weren’t really paying attention in English class grades 5-12, let me break down what I mean by the rest of the punctuation I mentioned in love’s run on sentence.
A coma will be a biddie that will come along and maybe make you pause for a second, you know let them take you on a few dates, share a few funny moments, hell maybe even a peck, but they are just a pause. They are there just long enough for you to catch your breath and to continue on with your sentence. I know we all know these. They are a dime a dozen.
Then there are the ellipses. An ellipse is a fancy word for those dot dot dot (…) biddies. I had to go ahead and use a quote from the very trusty Urban Dictionary to truly define these biddies. The Urban Dictionary defines an ellipse triple dot of awkwardness a way to say that you're not really sure, or lets just not talk about it. How many of us have felt that way about a biddie after we’ve truly gotten to know them. It’s the “ok then…” kinda biddies. The ones that you just hope will get the message after you stop picking up their phone calls…
And of course there are those exclamation point biddies!!! Now I can admit in real life I am a serial over-exclamation point user. I use about a million of them when only one is necessary. These are used to describe those biddies that come into your life out of nowhere and this whirlwind romance you have is just amazing, but just as quickly as they came they are gone. Those biddies are fleeting feelings that feel great in the moment but are probably over used.
And then of course there is the period. The biddie that makes you want to stop everything to be with them. The period is the proverbial end of the run-on sentence of love. Of course we will all have a couple of periods in our sentence, the trick is to recognize when one comes along and make sure when you begin a new sentence you know how to punctuate properly.
-Becks
Friday, July 8, 2011
Daily Insight: Summer Time
In case you've been living under a rock and haven't noticed it's summer time. Less clothes, more sweated out roots, and mandals everywhere. Summer also brings out the biddingtons. Yes they come from far and wide, hood BBQs, rooftops, and all white parties. Now I'm gonna go ahead and hit you guys with the male and female perspective of what this means.
On the male side a wise man once said "when the tops come down chicks tops come down." Yes indeed they do. Now I'm not saying this in the literal sense like people are walking around flashing each other like it's the Freak Nik but let's be real things do get quite hectic in the summer. Less clothes equals more thirst and those guys are gonna be doing what they can to ensure at least some tops are coming down.
Now on the female side of things all these biddies are falling like Summer Rain *Carl Thomas voice*. A wise man once said "when it's raining men you don't run for cover you get your rain boots and splash around in the puddles!"
Summer time brings a lot things and makes a lot of memories. So fellas make sure you let some tops down and ladies make sure you splash around in them damn puddles!! I know I damn sure will be!!
-Becks
On the male side a wise man once said "when the tops come down chicks tops come down." Yes indeed they do. Now I'm not saying this in the literal sense like people are walking around flashing each other like it's the Freak Nik but let's be real things do get quite hectic in the summer. Less clothes equals more thirst and those guys are gonna be doing what they can to ensure at least some tops are coming down.
Now on the female side of things all these biddies are falling like Summer Rain *Carl Thomas voice*. A wise man once said "when it's raining men you don't run for cover you get your rain boots and splash around in the puddles!"
Summer time brings a lot things and makes a lot of memories. So fellas make sure you let some tops down and ladies make sure you splash around in them damn puddles!! I know I damn sure will be!!
-Becks
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Daily Insight: "Na Because"
So as I sit on this plane the size of a clown car on my way back from my second business trip and 4th state in 2 weeks I have come to yet another conclusion....
2011 is not the year of "na because" and when I say "na because" I mean no excuses. "Na because" is a bullshit artists way of saying I'd love to do these things but I'm holding myself back.
I made a resolution for myself this past new years and no it wasn't to start eating more veggies, or stop drinking or anything like that..it was to take a trip a month for the entire year of 2011. And I've fulfilled my resolution thus far. When I get off this plane I'll be turning around and flying to Vegas for the weekend to wyle the desert out with my friends.
Now I know not everyone is in a position to do things like that in their lives but the point of 2011 not being the year of "na because" is to realize life is too damn short to make 7272773 excuses when there's something you really wanna do.
It doesn't cost anything to just straight up and down kick it, or to let that biddie spend his money on dinner and drinks for you, or you to do whatever your heart desires. So next time that opportunity arises I damn sure better not hear y'all saying "na because"
2011 is not the year of "na because" and when I say "na because" I mean no excuses. "Na because" is a bullshit artists way of saying I'd love to do these things but I'm holding myself back.
I made a resolution for myself this past new years and no it wasn't to start eating more veggies, or stop drinking or anything like that..it was to take a trip a month for the entire year of 2011. And I've fulfilled my resolution thus far. When I get off this plane I'll be turning around and flying to Vegas for the weekend to wyle the desert out with my friends.
Now I know not everyone is in a position to do things like that in their lives but the point of 2011 not being the year of "na because" is to realize life is too damn short to make 7272773 excuses when there's something you really wanna do.
It doesn't cost anything to just straight up and down kick it, or to let that biddie spend his money on dinner and drinks for you, or you to do whatever your heart desires. So next time that opportunity arises I damn sure better not hear y'all saying "na because"
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Daily Insight: Setting Up Shop
Anyone that knows me knows I am a big daydreamer, my mind tends to wander off a lot. And anyone that knows me knows I am also very granola as my friends like to classify it. Meaning I love me a good love song, romantic comedy ect ect, now don’t get me wrong I’m not up burning incense and writing poetry but who doesn’t appreciate a damn good love song?
Only problem with the combination of the two tends to get a bit hectic. Now imagine you’re at your desk minding you business on a Wednesday afternoon and that one song comes on that gets your mind wandering. That can cause what I’ve classified as swan diving into your feelings. I mean straight up listening to a song that takes you back to specific situation, person, ect.
This may not always be bad thing but all I am going to say is once you’re in your feelings don’t set up shop. Meaning, don’t let that thought or memory of a person or situation have you rocking back and forth singing “Unbreak My Heart” all day.
Memories are good and of course we all are going to slip back into those feelings. I know I have, it’s a slippery slope, but just remember whether you accidentally slip back in or cannon ball into them joints don’t stay too long. Cause there’s no room in the past for the future.
-Becks
Only problem with the combination of the two tends to get a bit hectic. Now imagine you’re at your desk minding you business on a Wednesday afternoon and that one song comes on that gets your mind wandering. That can cause what I’ve classified as swan diving into your feelings. I mean straight up listening to a song that takes you back to specific situation, person, ect.
This may not always be bad thing but all I am going to say is once you’re in your feelings don’t set up shop. Meaning, don’t let that thought or memory of a person or situation have you rocking back and forth singing “Unbreak My Heart” all day.
Memories are good and of course we all are going to slip back into those feelings. I know I have, it’s a slippery slope, but just remember whether you accidentally slip back in or cannon ball into them joints don’t stay too long. Cause there’s no room in the past for the future.
-Becks
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