Daily Insight: The Curse Of Eve

Women have to deal with a lot. Between cramps, runs in panty hoes, spanx, and bra underwire I'm sure we are the species that has it the hardest. With all that said there's something especially hard to deal with, that I'm sure is a curse handed down to us specifically from the Almighty cause Eve just had to bite that damn apple.

That curse is the curse of dwelling on something and thinking about it over and over until the point of madness. Ask any woman if this curse has ever haunted her and I'm sure she will say yes.

This may occur when she tells the Dominican hairstylist to go ahead and spray that extra oil sheen in her hair...and regrets this decision when she's walking around looking like Steven Segal for a week.

Or this may occur when she sees those cute shoes in her size but decides to do the responsible thing and wait until it goes on sale, and comes back to find that every other biddie in the tri-state area wasn't being as frugal and she can't find her size anywhere.

But this is most prevalent in the case of "should of said this, should of done that" when it comes to affairs of the heart. I'm sure Aphrodite the Goddess of love had it out for us child bearing beings when it came to the emotion of love. There's always going to be those times where you spend time with, or talk to a person who has that special effect on you...and something may go wrong, or everything goes right. Either way you spend every waking moment of the next couple of days thinking and rethinking of what you could of said or should of done to make this person feel where you're coming from.

Believe me I suffer from it too..and no matter how many other distractions you have your mind always wanders back to the "should I of told him how I felt? What if I didn't say this? What if I did this?" Nothing will take those questions away...

You just have to be settled in the fact that you're not the only one thinking this way. Eve did it to all of us.

-Becks

Daily Insight: Almost Doesn't Count

A wise man once said “almost made you love, almost made you cry, almost made you happy babe, couldn’t imagine why, almost had me thinking you had turned around…but everyone knows almost doesn’t count.” This song was written by Brandy when she was in her teens, but she was wise beyond her years.

I see it happen all too often. A half ass effort is but forth when pursing a love interest, and it’s never gonna count. You almost had me thinking you were serious about leaving girlfriend #2 alone, you almost convinced me you would actually follow through on a plan, you almost had me sitting around wating on your call everynight…but almost doesn’t count.

The most prolific line in the song goes “I can’t keep on loving you one foot outside the door.” Amen Brandy, I say to all the almost doesn’t count ass niggas in the world either bring the other foot in the door, or step your ass all the way out, and don’t forget to close it after.

-Becks

Daily Insight: Rolling Stone

A wise man once said “papa was a rolling stone, wherever he laid his hat was his home.” I’ve always considered myself to be a rolling stone in the sense that I was always on the move. But after this week, I’ve gotten to realize this phrase in more of a literal way. I was one who underestimated the impact that Hurricane Sandy would have on the island I call home. But after Monday of last week I was sadly mistaken. After being in a house that a tree fell on, in the middle of the storm, and everyone I know in the Long Island area losing power I was sort of stuck to either endure the cold in my house, or pack a few pairs of draws and some outfits in a bag and house hop.

After a few days of sleeping under a lot of covers, and only one cold shower, I decided I would have to become that rolling stone. And what I have discovered in my bag lady days, is that there are so many people I can depend on. I may complain about the fact that I still have no power at my house 9 days later, but there are people who don’t even have a home to get power back at.

The one thing I can take away from this experience is that when someone else has to be that rolling stone, I will be sure my home is where they can lay their hat, as so many of my friends did for me.

-Becks

Daily Insight: Does It Make A Sound?

I’m sure we have all heard the age old question “if a tree falls, and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a noise?” This phrase has been edited to relay many different messages throughout the years. In this age of technology, transparency, instant gratification, and over sharing I have taken this phrase to mean one more thing.

I know we have all encountered those people on social networks that use the platform to do nothing but stunt. What I mean by stunt is basically bragging about all the exotic places they go, parties they attend, the upper echelon they rub elbows with, and money they spend. Those people sometimes do not realize they’re doing it, but I’m sure they’ve irritated their fair share of followers.

Which brings me to ask: if you don’t post it on twitter did it not happen? If you don’t post that picture on instagram does it not exist? If you don’t update friends and strangers alike on every milestone in your relationship does it not happen? With peoples lives being as accessible as they are, are there some things that are better left unshared?

-Becks

Daily Insight: Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

I believe the most annoying thing about being a woman is our emotions tend to get the best of us at times. We kind of let our minds run wild and make up all kinds of scenarios when over analyzing situations or the actions of others.

A wise man once said "you can't make a mountain out of a mole hill." As a woman we tend to do this more than we like to admit. Hell we would make Mount Everest out of a sand castle. Meaning we make situations way more dramatic then they truly are....

If that guy that you're crushing on or dating doesn't call at 8pm like he said he must not be into you, and is trying to give you a hint. Meanwhile homeboy is probably intending to call at 8:15. But too late cause you've already updated your Facebook status to "men ain't shit."

You show up at the club and take a gander around the room, and realize homegirl is wearing the same dress as you. Before you storm out or hiding in the bathroom all night out of unbearable embarrassment, complement homegirl on her good taste and keep it trucking. Just try not to shop in the most common H&M in the world next time.

When you are out an run into that ex that you haven't seen in a while, don't go running in the other direction. Or try to figure out why y'all broke up 6 damn years ago. Knowing damn well you couldn't stand his ass back then. Wave at his ass and switch as hard as you possibly can past him.

As women our emotions are going to try to run buckwild. Tuck those estrogen filled thoughts back in them ovaries, and remember that it isn't that serious, that mole hill can easily be stepped over...it's not a mountain.

-Becks

Daily Insight: Dream Of A Billion

Everyone has their dream guy or girl. This person could be modeled after some celebrity (ahem Larenz Tate in Love Jones) or guy or girl next door, but we all have them. Some people aspire to be that dream person to everyone. They make strides to ensure that they are desired and sought after by the masses. Whether it be buying that car their ass can’t afford, putting on those mink eye lashes, or just confirming to what they think may be the dream of everyone else.

The Dream once detailed this kind of girl in his song “Fancy.” The beady eyed ballad singer said “she spends her time abroad yachts, if somewhere not tasting wine. In Paris seducing me while we dine, she’s only 23 but ahead of time, she’s the dream of a billion men…go girl.” I’m sure everyone can picture this girl he sings of, but the question is do you want to be the dream of a billion or the reality of one.

I would personally rather be the dream girl to one guy, and he be my dream than the dream of a billion. The feeling of being the dream of the one you want to be with is the best feeling in the world. And it doesn’t require you to break the bank for that new yaki weave, spend your last on a chain, or be perfect in the eyes of everyone…you just have to be yourself. That’s enough to be the reality for the one who counts.

-Becks

Daily Insight: Pull Your Skirt Down Theory

I was asked by a friend of mine to touch on a subject that has plagued the male species for some time now, but is becoming way more prevalent in this age of over sharing. Ever been scrolling through your favorite social network, and stumble upon a grown ass man crying (not literally) about something? Now, I appreciate a man expressing their feelings just as much as anyone else…but I do not appreciate a crying ass man. Allow me to elaborate.

I call this the Drake theory. We all know good old Drake, the Canadian singer/rapper/Kleenex spokesperson. He has made it common place for men to cry, whine, complain, ect over every little thing. Not only is this not attractive, it’s down right annoying.

I like to refer to the feeling I get when I see this happening more often than not as the “pull your skirt down” theory. I know we have all thought or said these phrases.Yes, I saw you call me 6 times, then text to let me know you called 6 times. Yes, I’m going to go kick it with my girls this weekend. Yes, I am finally over you…after you played me a year ago, then tried to get back into my good graces when plan B failed. Yes, not everything will go your way.

We all have come across these guys. And we all have had to say these things to them. Next time you come across one, just tell them to pull their skirt down, and get your poncho out for the waterworks that are sure to follow.

-Becks