A wise man once said “letting go is the true art of loving someone.” I know I haven’t been on this earth very long. 25 years to be exact in about a week, but I have found this to be truth. When things aren’t working with someone for whatever reason, be it a significant other or even a friend, there’s a point where you have to let them go.
Everyone deserves a chance to be freed, and experience all that life has to offer. Giving someone that freedom can change their life for the better. Believe me you will be a better person because of it.
-Becks
Friday, May 11, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
Daily Insight: Post Cards
We all know the feeling of talking to someone that has been around the block a few times. Now when I say been around the block I don’t mean in the way you may think…but they’ve lived a pretty full life. Whether they’re older or just had a lot of experiences. One of the favorite sayings of those kinds of people is “been there done that bought the post card.”
It got me to thinking…what if the experiences in your life could be personified with post cards? How hilarious, scary, or down right tragic would those post cards be?
Where would the cards be post marked from? Would they all be from the block, would they mostly be from the club, would they be from around the world? These are things to consider when looking back on the post cards of life.
Think about who those cards would be sent to. Meaning who are the people that are living these experiences with you? Are they usually the same? Are you 37 still on Momma’s teet? Are they with different people every six months?
And if you were to collect and keep these post cards, and take them out occasionally to look at them what type of feeling would they bring? Are these experiences ones you learned and grew from, are they ones you never want to experience again? Or are they ones that bring back certain nostalgia?
All I know is I want to be able to be that person lecturing someone else some day about all the experiences I’ve had, how I’ve been there, done that, and have the post card to prove it. Do you?
-Becks
It got me to thinking…what if the experiences in your life could be personified with post cards? How hilarious, scary, or down right tragic would those post cards be?
Where would the cards be post marked from? Would they all be from the block, would they mostly be from the club, would they be from around the world? These are things to consider when looking back on the post cards of life.
Think about who those cards would be sent to. Meaning who are the people that are living these experiences with you? Are they usually the same? Are you 37 still on Momma’s teet? Are they with different people every six months?
And if you were to collect and keep these post cards, and take them out occasionally to look at them what type of feeling would they bring? Are these experiences ones you learned and grew from, are they ones you never want to experience again? Or are they ones that bring back certain nostalgia?
All I know is I want to be able to be that person lecturing someone else some day about all the experiences I’ve had, how I’ve been there, done that, and have the post card to prove it. Do you?
-Becks
Monday, April 2, 2012
Daily Insight: Case Of The Ex
As you mat notice, I tend to reference music a lot in these daily insights. It is one of my favorite places to draw inspiration from. The best lyrical songs will really get you thinking about some things.
We all know that awkward moment when you run into that ex boyfriend or girlfriend, whether it is the one that you never wanted to see again, or the one you slightly stalk on Facebook, we all have experienced the same thing. For the sake of the point I am attempting to make today we will go with that ex that still evokes some kind of emotional response from you, and not the gag reflex.
The song that really got me thinking about this topic was “Case Of The Ex” by Mya. If you can get past the half singing, half shrieking thing Mya does she’s really speaking some truth in this song….
A wise man once said “what you gonna do when you can’t say no, when your feelings start to show, boy I really need to know. How you gonna act how you gonna handle that? What you gonna do when she want you back?”
Now that was only the chorus…Mya really gets into the thick of things when her current boyfriend is called at midnight one night by his ex girlfriend. I will go ahead a break down the many valid points Mya makes throughout the song:
“Now what is it that she wants? What is it that she needs? Did she just hear about the brand new Benz that you bought me? Cause ya’ll didn’t have no kids, didn’t share no mutual friends, and you told me that she turned trick when ya’ll broke up in ’96.” There’s always that ex that will creep back around cause they see you’re happy with the next man. They have no reason to keep in contact with you, because you avoided having kids with they ass, and ya’ll don’t have any friends in common. Now you heard she or he been around the block a few times since ya’ll called it quits in ’96 so you damn sure don’t want nothing to have to do with them now. Avoid this ex at all cause. This ex is like distant ass cousins you didn’t even know you had, that come looking for a handout when you hit the lottery. Exit stage left and don’t look back my friend.
“She don’t know me, she about to know me. I’m in your life and that’s how it’s gonna be. I’ve seen her photo she ain’t even all that. So if you want her back, you can take her back. Cuz game recognize game, I could do the same thing. Get it right or take back this ring.” If you know the person you’re with now is an upgrade in anyway from your ex, don’t even think about it. No one wants to go from driving a Cadillac that it took your ass 3 loans, 2 jobs, and whole lot of saving to get, back to riding around in a ’93 hatchback green Honda Civic. No one should be hustling backwards especially your ass.
Mya poses some valid points in this song. Yes, she speaks in hoodrat terms throughout most of the song, but it doesn’t change the validity of the issue. The point of someone being an ex is the shit didn’t work before, and most likely won’t work now. Let them stay an ex. Or you can just do like I do, and duck behind the nearest large obstruction when you see them and hope to hell they didn’t see you.
-Becks
We all know that awkward moment when you run into that ex boyfriend or girlfriend, whether it is the one that you never wanted to see again, or the one you slightly stalk on Facebook, we all have experienced the same thing. For the sake of the point I am attempting to make today we will go with that ex that still evokes some kind of emotional response from you, and not the gag reflex.
The song that really got me thinking about this topic was “Case Of The Ex” by Mya. If you can get past the half singing, half shrieking thing Mya does she’s really speaking some truth in this song….
A wise man once said “what you gonna do when you can’t say no, when your feelings start to show, boy I really need to know. How you gonna act how you gonna handle that? What you gonna do when she want you back?”
Now that was only the chorus…Mya really gets into the thick of things when her current boyfriend is called at midnight one night by his ex girlfriend. I will go ahead a break down the many valid points Mya makes throughout the song:
“Now what is it that she wants? What is it that she needs? Did she just hear about the brand new Benz that you bought me? Cause ya’ll didn’t have no kids, didn’t share no mutual friends, and you told me that she turned trick when ya’ll broke up in ’96.” There’s always that ex that will creep back around cause they see you’re happy with the next man. They have no reason to keep in contact with you, because you avoided having kids with they ass, and ya’ll don’t have any friends in common. Now you heard she or he been around the block a few times since ya’ll called it quits in ’96 so you damn sure don’t want nothing to have to do with them now. Avoid this ex at all cause. This ex is like distant ass cousins you didn’t even know you had, that come looking for a handout when you hit the lottery. Exit stage left and don’t look back my friend.
“She don’t know me, she about to know me. I’m in your life and that’s how it’s gonna be. I’ve seen her photo she ain’t even all that. So if you want her back, you can take her back. Cuz game recognize game, I could do the same thing. Get it right or take back this ring.” If you know the person you’re with now is an upgrade in anyway from your ex, don’t even think about it. No one wants to go from driving a Cadillac that it took your ass 3 loans, 2 jobs, and whole lot of saving to get, back to riding around in a ’93 hatchback green Honda Civic. No one should be hustling backwards especially your ass.
Mya poses some valid points in this song. Yes, she speaks in hoodrat terms throughout most of the song, but it doesn’t change the validity of the issue. The point of someone being an ex is the shit didn’t work before, and most likely won’t work now. Let them stay an ex. Or you can just do like I do, and duck behind the nearest large obstruction when you see them and hope to hell they didn’t see you.
-Becks
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Daily Insight: Ol Pump Fake
Ok just a fair warning about this here post. It may come off a little petty, but I promise it is not. And I am not a petty person! LOL. With that being said, women have an unspoken understanding of how to carry themselves around men.
Yes, we all know the regular sayings, cross your legs, don’t swear too much, always be presentable, and all of that good stuff. Those are things your mother instills in you as a young woman. But, there are some other theories momma may not have made you hip to early on in life.
This theory was brought up in a conversation with some friends of mine. Everyone knows, practices, and lives by this theory whether they realize it or not.
This theory is something I like to refer to as the “ol pump fake.” For those of you who don’t know a pump fake is a move in basketball when a player on offense makes a motion like he’s going to shoot the ball to throw the defender off, but doesn’t actually shoot.
The “ol pump fake” I’m referring occurs when you go to dinner, out for drinks, or any other activity with a guy that would require paying bill at the end. We all know the motions: you’re sitting laughing, hopefully having a good time with homeboy and he hasn’t made you want to pull all your eyelashes out by then. Eventually the waiter puts the bill down on the table, and the man reaches for the bill. He takes a look at said bill, and tries to remain as calm as possible while looking at it. Meaning he’s probably calculations what the hell you ordered, and not trying to let his face show he’s crunching some serious numbers. At the exact moment when he’s looking up from the glance he just took at the bill you pull the “ol pump fake.”
You reach around to your purse and reach for your wallet as though you are getting money out to pay. BUT you have no intention of taking said wallet out of your damn purse. At this point said guy shoos you away and says he’ll take care of the bill. YOU my friend look like a decent human being at that point, with manners. Knowing damn well you had no intention of using any of your American dollars on that date.
This is the first rule of the girl-code. Now, this doesn’t apply to third, fourth or fifth dates with the same man. At some point I feel as though you should offer to pay for real, not just pump fake. But, this is something your mama didn’t tell you when she was telling you not to curse like a sailor in front of a man. You’re welcome ladies, you’re welcome.
Yes, we all know the regular sayings, cross your legs, don’t swear too much, always be presentable, and all of that good stuff. Those are things your mother instills in you as a young woman. But, there are some other theories momma may not have made you hip to early on in life.
This theory was brought up in a conversation with some friends of mine. Everyone knows, practices, and lives by this theory whether they realize it or not.
This theory is something I like to refer to as the “ol pump fake.” For those of you who don’t know a pump fake is a move in basketball when a player on offense makes a motion like he’s going to shoot the ball to throw the defender off, but doesn’t actually shoot.
The “ol pump fake” I’m referring occurs when you go to dinner, out for drinks, or any other activity with a guy that would require paying bill at the end. We all know the motions: you’re sitting laughing, hopefully having a good time with homeboy and he hasn’t made you want to pull all your eyelashes out by then. Eventually the waiter puts the bill down on the table, and the man reaches for the bill. He takes a look at said bill, and tries to remain as calm as possible while looking at it. Meaning he’s probably calculations what the hell you ordered, and not trying to let his face show he’s crunching some serious numbers. At the exact moment when he’s looking up from the glance he just took at the bill you pull the “ol pump fake.”
You reach around to your purse and reach for your wallet as though you are getting money out to pay. BUT you have no intention of taking said wallet out of your damn purse. At this point said guy shoos you away and says he’ll take care of the bill. YOU my friend look like a decent human being at that point, with manners. Knowing damn well you had no intention of using any of your American dollars on that date.
This is the first rule of the girl-code. Now, this doesn’t apply to third, fourth or fifth dates with the same man. At some point I feel as though you should offer to pay for real, not just pump fake. But, this is something your mama didn’t tell you when she was telling you not to curse like a sailor in front of a man. You’re welcome ladies, you’re welcome.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Daily Insight: Gathering Nuts
Ok I know what y'all are thinking...wtf is that title about? But allow me to explain. We are in the dead of winter my friends. It's cold and if you're anything like me, I like to hibernate in the winter...at least on the weekdays.
With that being said a successful hibernation season is not possible without gathering up the necessary things before the hibernation begins. This means making sure you gather up all those nuts in the summer and fall like a squirrel. If you've ever noticed squirrels are on a mission in the warmer months.
For us homo sapiens we don't gather nuts per say but we do gather other things. A couple of those particular things I speak of are as follows:
Make sure your ass is not caught out there mid-hibernation with no cuddle buddy, or biddie. You can only wear long johns and watch Love Jones alone so damn many times...make sure them nuts are gathered and stored for the winter. Don't forget to gather your ass up and get into the gym! No one is eating a baby spinach salad in the winter it just doesn't fit. Therefore make sure you can fit back into them sundresses and cargo shorts come summer. And lastly make sure you gather up that money. Hibernating may be boring at times but guess what boredom leads to....saving money! I don't know about y'all but I went on 6 vacations last summer...I'd like to be able to do it again without going for broke. Best believe I'll be dipping into that nut stash to make sure that happens.
With that being said its not too late to gather a few more nuts people....don't get caught out there running low on nuts with the winter not even half way over.
-Becks
With that being said a successful hibernation season is not possible without gathering up the necessary things before the hibernation begins. This means making sure you gather up all those nuts in the summer and fall like a squirrel. If you've ever noticed squirrels are on a mission in the warmer months.
For us homo sapiens we don't gather nuts per say but we do gather other things. A couple of those particular things I speak of are as follows:
Make sure your ass is not caught out there mid-hibernation with no cuddle buddy, or biddie. You can only wear long johns and watch Love Jones alone so damn many times...make sure them nuts are gathered and stored for the winter. Don't forget to gather your ass up and get into the gym! No one is eating a baby spinach salad in the winter it just doesn't fit. Therefore make sure you can fit back into them sundresses and cargo shorts come summer. And lastly make sure you gather up that money. Hibernating may be boring at times but guess what boredom leads to....saving money! I don't know about y'all but I went on 6 vacations last summer...I'd like to be able to do it again without going for broke. Best believe I'll be dipping into that nut stash to make sure that happens.
With that being said its not too late to gather a few more nuts people....don't get caught out there running low on nuts with the winter not even half way over.
-Becks
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Daily Insight: Another Year Down
coming to an end, and the beginning of a new one is only days away! 2011 for me personally has been one of the best years of my life! Around this time everyone goes into a frenzy about what their NYE plans will be, and of course those good old resolutions.
Let me explain a few things I’ve learned over the years about NYE plans, and resolutions. First off NYE plans. I’ve done it all, from doing the absolute most, to nothing at all. The best plans are those that are solidified and inexpensive. What’s the point of being in a club with 2000 strangers? Your phone signal doesn’t work come midnight, so you can’t even wish those closest to you a Happy New Year. This year I am opting for the classic route, a get together with great friends.
Another skit that has been imbedded in our NYE psyche is “the person you spend your new year with is the one you’ll be spending the rest of the year with.” AGAIN I can tell you uhhh-unnnn this ain’t the damn truth. Of course yes, some people you spend your new years eve with will be around throughout the rest of your life. And some will be gone come January 3rd. That’s just the way that cookie crumbles.
And then of course everyone’s favorite “lie to yourself” action: a new years resolution. Whether it’s losing that freshman 15 you’ve been carrying around even 3 years after you graduated, being on time to work everyday, or my favorite a year long man-cation. Man-cation being a vacation from the opposite sex. Make sure whatever your resolution is, it remains feasible, and realistic. You’ll feel so much better when you look back on your year, believe me.
-Becks
Let me explain a few things I’ve learned over the years about NYE plans, and resolutions. First off NYE plans. I’ve done it all, from doing the absolute most, to nothing at all. The best plans are those that are solidified and inexpensive. What’s the point of being in a club with 2000 strangers? Your phone signal doesn’t work come midnight, so you can’t even wish those closest to you a Happy New Year. This year I am opting for the classic route, a get together with great friends.
Another skit that has been imbedded in our NYE psyche is “the person you spend your new year with is the one you’ll be spending the rest of the year with.” AGAIN I can tell you uhhh-unnnn this ain’t the damn truth. Of course yes, some people you spend your new years eve with will be around throughout the rest of your life. And some will be gone come January 3rd. That’s just the way that cookie crumbles.
And then of course everyone’s favorite “lie to yourself” action: a new years resolution. Whether it’s losing that freshman 15 you’ve been carrying around even 3 years after you graduated, being on time to work everyday, or my favorite a year long man-cation. Man-cation being a vacation from the opposite sex. Make sure whatever your resolution is, it remains feasible, and realistic. You’ll feel so much better when you look back on your year, believe me.
-Becks
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Daily Insight: The Perfect Ratio
Todays daily insight stems from a conversation I was having with friends about what we want in a guy. Now I know I may of touched on this topic before, but it's my blog and I can repeat myself if I want to!
Lol, now that I've gotten that out of the way: a wise man once said "don't wife her if she ain't at least 9% hoodrat." Can we all just collectively let the church say amen to this?!? My friends and I were having a discussion about a nice guy can almost be too nice, and maybe we aren't looking to have that picket fence and 2.5 kids just yet. And the hoodrats (bad boys) we are usually attracted to are not appropriate for this stage in our lives.
In comes the theory of the perfect guy, the guy who is at least a small percentage hoodrat! The man you don't have to tell not to to wear sneakers to church, but you can bring them around the homies that may still be hugging the block and he can fit right in.
Me personally, I consider myself about 21% hoodrat. I can drink with the best of them, curse like a sailor when necessary, hell I even know how to play dice, and haggle the Spanish man at the bodega to put extra bacon on my turkey sandwich for free. But on the other hand I am an intelligent, perfectly well mannered, college educated, articulate business analyst.
We all have that ratio of hoodrat to good guy we are looking for...my advice is to take that qualities you are looking for in both and keep your eyes peeled for that man. We ain't getting any younger, but we should not settle for a percentage we wouldn't think would make us happy. That man who can open your Corona with his keys, while debating politics with him will come along before you know it. Keep hope alive biddies!
-Becks
Lol, now that I've gotten that out of the way: a wise man once said "don't wife her if she ain't at least 9% hoodrat." Can we all just collectively let the church say amen to this?!? My friends and I were having a discussion about a nice guy can almost be too nice, and maybe we aren't looking to have that picket fence and 2.5 kids just yet. And the hoodrats (bad boys) we are usually attracted to are not appropriate for this stage in our lives.
In comes the theory of the perfect guy, the guy who is at least a small percentage hoodrat! The man you don't have to tell not to to wear sneakers to church, but you can bring them around the homies that may still be hugging the block and he can fit right in.
Me personally, I consider myself about 21% hoodrat. I can drink with the best of them, curse like a sailor when necessary, hell I even know how to play dice, and haggle the Spanish man at the bodega to put extra bacon on my turkey sandwich for free. But on the other hand I am an intelligent, perfectly well mannered, college educated, articulate business analyst.
We all have that ratio of hoodrat to good guy we are looking for...my advice is to take that qualities you are looking for in both and keep your eyes peeled for that man. We ain't getting any younger, but we should not settle for a percentage we wouldn't think would make us happy. That man who can open your Corona with his keys, while debating politics with him will come along before you know it. Keep hope alive biddies!
-Becks
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