Daily Insight: Ol Pump Fake

Ok just a fair warning about this here post. It may come off a little petty, but I promise it is not. And I am not a petty person! LOL. With that being said, women have an unspoken understanding of how to carry themselves around men.

Yes, we all know the regular sayings, cross your legs, don’t swear too much, always be presentable, and all of that good stuff. Those are things your mother instills in you as a young woman. But, there are some other theories momma may not have made you hip to early on in life.

This theory was brought up in a conversation with some friends of mine. Everyone knows, practices, and lives by this theory whether they realize it or not.

This theory is something I like to refer to as the “ol pump fake.” For those of you who don’t know a pump fake is a move in basketball when a player on offense makes a motion like he’s going to shoot the ball to throw the defender off, but doesn’t actually shoot.

The “ol pump fake” I’m referring occurs when you go to dinner, out for drinks, or any other activity with a guy that would require paying bill at the end. We all know the motions: you’re sitting laughing, hopefully having a good time with homeboy and he hasn’t made you want to pull all your eyelashes out by then. Eventually the waiter puts the bill down on the table, and the man reaches for the bill. He takes a look at said bill, and tries to remain as calm as possible while looking at it. Meaning he’s probably calculations what the hell you ordered, and not trying to let his face show he’s crunching some serious numbers. At the exact moment when he’s looking up from the glance he just took at the bill you pull the “ol pump fake.”

You reach around to your purse and reach for your wallet as though you are getting money out to pay. BUT you have no intention of taking said wallet out of your damn purse. At this point said guy shoos you away and says he’ll take care of the bill. YOU my friend look like a decent human being at that point, with manners. Knowing damn well you had no intention of using any of your American dollars on that date.

This is the first rule of the girl-code. Now, this doesn’t apply to third, fourth or fifth dates with the same man. At some point I feel as though you should offer to pay for real, not just pump fake. But, this is something your mama didn’t tell you when she was telling you not to curse like a sailor in front of a man. You’re welcome ladies, you’re welcome.